Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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