I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize