some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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