Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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