I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
