just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
