i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
