I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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