We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Farmville is her only friend.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Mom said you looked used
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
