You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
