My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
