She said her name was "party"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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