Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
