1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
