No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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