i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to be your penis for a week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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