I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Two words: blizzard sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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