Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
