Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
