ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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