He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
