I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize