Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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