i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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