could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
