Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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