mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I supernannyed him into submission
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
