lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
