Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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