We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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