good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
