in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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