Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
only if we run a train.
done.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
