sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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