Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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