the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
