nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize