It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
