All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
