totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
