Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
