we're blogging at a bar
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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