she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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