Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize