My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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