wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
