his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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