Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
