shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
