4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
