Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize