sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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