She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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