Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize