i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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