I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
