Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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