mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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