So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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