ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
