my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
