hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize