i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
