woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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