I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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