Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize