I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize