You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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