When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
