Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
