Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
