i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
